A Tale of Two Cities – Bethel and Babel
December 28, 2024
One of my sons has a new girlfriend who is super cute, gets excellent grades, is heavily involved in martial arts, and has parents who seem to really like my son. So it was surprising to hear from my wife that my son was questioning whether his relationship with his girlfriend would last because he felt as if she didn’t pose the same kind of mental challenge as his past girlfriends. My wife asked me what I thought, and after sharing my observations with her, she asked that I talk with my son.
The following day, as we were driving home from the gym, I talked to my son. I asked him how things were going with his girlfriend, and he said they were going well. However, he also confirmed some of his reservations about their relationship that my wife had mentioned.
I said, “First off, I want to make it clear that I’m not saying this girl is the one, nor am I telling you to stay in this relationship. Only you can make that decision based on your day-to-day interactions with her. That said, I’ve observed some unique things about this girl and her family, which show great potential. #1 When she looks at you, I can tell she really cares about you. #2 It looks like she brings a peaceful presence to your relationship because you feel calmer to me. #3 She has cool parents who seem to really like you; they’ve given you rides home from school and invited you to their house to watch a movie. Do you see what I see?”
He nodded his head and said, “Yes.”
I said, “Mommy mentioned that you felt she didn’t challenge you like your past girlfriends. What’s that about?”
He said, “Every time I say something or suggest something, she just agrees with it, whereas my other girlfriends would fight me on it. I miss that challenge.”
After I cracked a few jokes about that sounding like the DREAM girl to me, I said, “Son, life is challenging on its own, and it can and will throw you situations that can stress and even break relationships. Your mom and I have lasted this long because she is kind, calm, faithful, has an awesome, supportive family, and doesn’t always fight me. If you pick a partner to “do life with” who fights you and challenges you at every turn, when a real-life challenge shows up, you could find yourself fighting two battles instead of together as one. For example, when your brother was diagnosed with autism, your mom and I became stronger as a couple because we navigated that challenge with one mind, whereas some couples tragically fall apart. I don’t want you to throw away a potentially great relationship with someone who really seems to care about you because you’re laser-focused on something that isn’t her. Remember that your ex-girlfriends are your exes for a reason.”
I followed up with my son a few days later, and he said he was doing well with his girlfriend and really appreciated that I shared my perspective with him.
Old and New Testament verses of the day:
“House and riches are the inheritance of fathers: And a prudent wife is from the LORD.”
Proverbs 19:14 KJV
“Who can find a virtuous woman? For her price is far above rubies. The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, So that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil All the days of her life.”
Proverbs 31:10-12 KJV
“And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.”
Philippians 4:7 KJV
“For God is not the author of confusion, but of peace, as in all churches of the saints.”
1 Corinthians 14:33 KJV
JP Quianzon is the President of the ASD Climber Foundation. He is an American businessman who is passionate about serving others and witnessing for Jesus Christ.
