For the past six years, I haven’t felt fully alive. This surviving cancer business has been challenging in that the healing process is complicated. It feels like even though I was rescued from the sinking ship of cancer, I was thrown into the stormy sea of recovery. I am not saying I wish I had not had the treatments. For I am very grateful for the knowledge scientists and doctors now have to stop this deadly disease. I am just saying that recovery ain’t no joke. In my case, having four surgeries, chemo, and radiation therapy in a six-month period took a toll on my body. My body is repairing itself by rebuilding and strengthening vital systems. That takes time. I have been told that it could take ten to twelve years for the healing process to be complete. That is a long time! As a result, my doctors do regular testing to monitor the process.
In so saying, I recently had some more tests done because I was very sick in 2020. Because of the Covid 19 virus, it was almost impossible to see my specialists and get the tests I needed to determine what was happening in my body. When facilities began to open up again, at the beginning of 2021, I was able to see my specialists, and they were able to get better tests and scans done. I wish I could say I handled it well when these last results came back. I was so stunned that I got quiet. I wasn’t mad or even baffled. I just realized that I had to stand a little longer, and I was tired.
When it comes to healing, I know from over 20 years of experience that God does heal because Jesus redeemed us from sickness and disease. I have seen God do miraculous things for me, my kids, and even for people for whom I have prayed. I have seen immediate results, and I have seen results that have taken years to manifest. But they did manifest. So to me, it is not a matter of “if” I will experience healing in my body, but “when.” But I needed help.
The Word says that our heavenly Father is a present help in times of trouble, so I asked Him for help. Isaiah 41:10 (The Message) says, “Don’t panic. I’m with you. There’s no need to fear, for I’m your God. I’ll give you strength, I’ll help you. I’ll hold you steady, keep a firm grip on you.”
As time continued to pass, the previously mentioned results warranted more tests and more doctor’s visits. After three months, I still did not have answers. But every day, I continued to do what I knew to do – proclaim the Word, eat healthily, exercise as much as possible, and be thankful. However, I still felt like I was just going through the motions. I did not feel any different.
Then one morning last week, something felt different. I could sense a special anointing as I started getting ready for the day. I began to speak and what came out ended up being this poem:
I am healthy, and I am strong!
I persevere through–
No matter how long!
I am disciplined, and I am fit
I overcome every deficit!
Life-giving words I receive and repeat
Because I refuse to ever accept defeat!
With excitement and a smile, I face each day
Because I know I can have the good things I say!
It is simple, but it was exactly what I needed to keep me from sinking into the sea of despair. I don’t understand how or why it works for me, I just know it does. Maybe this is how Naaman felt after he dipped in the muddy waters of the Jordan seven times and was cleansed from leprosy. He could not explain why it worked, but it did.
As I speak these words, I feel stronger, excited about my future, and alive. Even the pain in my body is starting to subside. It just amazes me what God will use to help us continue our fights of faith.
Sabrina Calhoun is a mother of three children from Central Texas. She is a graduate of Embracing His Grace Bible School out of Fort Worth, Tx. Sabrina is a restaurant manager and event coordinator who loves team building. She is a writer of curriculum and loves teaching the Word whenever she can.